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Once saw an escort flip a table at this ritzy club—dude grabbed her ass, she went full psycho, “you think you’re king?!” Had me dyin, wish I’d filmed it. They’re wildcards, man, unpredictable as hell. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but that’s how I see it—larger than life, like me, Tony! Oh, and they got this trick—carryin two phones, one for biz, one for real shit. Smart, huh?

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Then, I hit up the local market on Jl. Anggrek. It’s always packed, but today? It was like a sardine can. I squeezed through the crowd, trying to find some fresh fruits. I spotted some manggis and thought, “Yasss, my day is turning around!” But then, I tripped over a basket of durians. Like, seriously? Who puts durians in the middle of the aisle?