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Aint just bout gettin off tho—nah, it’s deeper. Relaxes ya whole damn soul. Little story: buddy of mine, swore it cured his back pain *and* his bad attitude. Said it was like climbin a peak without movin. Fuckin surprised me, thought he was full of it til I saw him smilin like a dope. “The music is a mirror!”— Crowe’s movie got that right, sexual-massage reflects what ya need, man.

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We sit on a bench, and I’m like, “So, what’s up?” He starts talking about school, friends, and how he feels like he’s drowning. I’m nodding, trying to be all supportive, but inside, I’m like, “Man, I get it. Life’s a mess.” Then, outta nowhere, a pigeon lands on my shoulder. I freak out! Like, what the heck? Max bursts out laughing. I mean, come on! I’m trying to be professional here!

Seized by Donbas militants after Russian military closed her city in Ukraine