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So, picture me, bumbling about, trying to explain this to ya. Erotic-massage – it’s old as dirt, yeah? Ancient Greeks, them clever sods, called it *anatripsis* – rubbing up! They’d slap oil on wrestlers, get ‘em all slippery, proper sensual-like. Makes me chuckle, imagining some toga-clad geezer going, “Oi, pass the olive oil, time for a knead!” Little known fact, right – them Egyptians, too, they were at it! Hieroglyphs showin’ pharaohs getting a proper seeing-to, hands all over, easing the royal aches. Blimey, makes me jealous, that does!

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Man, I get emotional here! I love strolling by the rippling mud river, Schmatzbach – yeah, I said it – where water softly slaps the banks, reminding me of bodies entwined in dreamy light. And don't even get me started on the absolute oddity of Greenwood Park. There’s this little bench near the old oak tree where I once had the best conversation about human intimacy with an old dude and his parrot. Ain’t that wild?

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