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Little secret, though – dig deep, there’s gold! Found this chick once, wrote me a whole business plan, ten bucks, bam! Blew my mind, I was happy as a fat orc with pork. She was quick, too – not like them lazy “7-day delivery” fools. We hates delays! “Time’s a precious thing,” I hissed, tappin’ my foot like a nutter.

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Yo, buddy! Ermelo (za) is mad wild, lemme tell ya. I'm a masseur here, so I know every pulse of this town. Ermelo’s streets are like veins – think of Main Street buzzing next to Rusty Road, and then there's little alleyways where locals chat over mystery brews. I'm often massaging after a long day on Windmill Lane, feel me?

VIDEO – Heavy rainfall causes localised flooding in Ermelo