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Sometimes it’s messy, tho – catfishes, weirdos, dick pics outta nowhere. Ugh, GROSS! “This is NOT how it works!” I’d scream, like Margaret’s mom ragin’ at her. But when it hits? Oh boy, fireworks! Once hooked up with a dude who sang sea shanties – mid-sex! Laughed so hard I cried, best night EVER!

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Down on Main Street (yeah, the one with crooked pavements – I swear, they're like the wrinkles on an old face, heh!) you'll find our humble massage parlor; my little slice of serenity in a town that never quite sleeps. Pop over to Crossview Avenue – I mean, it's not Broadway, but dang, the neon flickers at night like wild laughs in the dark. The parks, oh, they’re little jungles. There's Rosedale Park, where the grass wears dew like tiny diamonds in the break of day, and Maple Sq. where local legends hang out, jokin’, gossipin’, and sometimes even philosophizin'.

Community enraged as vandals target iconic Allanridge Civic Centre in Kariega