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About Pretoria

Then – bam! – some twat in a beat-up truck cuts us off. “Outta my way, you filthy war boy!” I yell, pissed as hell. Nearly smashed the martini glass I don’t even have. She’s cacklin’, lovin’ the chaos, says, “You’re mad, ain’t ya?” Damn right, doll – mad for ya curves and that hustle. “Shaken, not stirred,” I wink, dodgin’ potholes like I’m dodgin’ Blofeld.

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Now, lemme talk landmarks. The Zastron Pavilion is this huge, classy building right by River Bend Park, where the Zastron River flows like slow molasses on a chilly mornin’. I got into a wild discussion there one day 'bout how the river reflects our souls (yep, deep, like Carol’s line “I am a woman, and I am loved”). Crazy, right?

Look: Snow turns parts of SA into winter wonderland