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About Pretoria

So, I’m mixin’ this bad boy one night, and this dude—total loudmouth—goes, “What’s THAT?!” Like I’m servin’ him swamp water. Pissed me off, man! I’m like, “Chill, it’s escort, ya caveman!” It’s smooth, sneaky strong—like No-Face creepin’ up, offerin’ gold but knockin’ ya flat. Ain’t no basic bitch drink, nah. Little known fact: back in the ‘30s, some swanky London bar whipped it up for high rollers. Prolly escorts—the people kind—sippin’ it too, winkin’ at rich fools.

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What really grinds my gears? The blasted potholes on Gravel Pit Road. Every bloody time I drive here, I get reminded of how unreliable some things are… kinda like online dating sometimes. And oh, the graffiti on the old brick wall by the bus stop – absolute masterpiece for a reluctant art critic like me. Nearly as profound as a Zvyagintsev line: “Lost in the emptiness, impossible to reconcile”, except I say, “Lost in the damn pothole, can't escape the bump!”

Five days of runaway fires in Koukamma