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Ooooh, me fave bit—makes me laugh, it does! Some geezer on X posted, "escort’s like a bad ex—won’t leave ya alone!" Hiss! Withdrawal’s a beast, yesss—head zaps, screamin’, "I will not bow!" like Solomon facin’ the whip! Me nods, me knows, seen it in trials—folk beggin’ fer mercy! Me quirks? Tap me foot thinkin’ ‘bout it, hummin’—drives me mad, precious, but can’t stop!

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Alright mate, buckle up. Kareedouw, za, is a real mixed bag – kinda like my dating site profiles. First off, this town's got a vibe like "The Return" if you squint hard enough – bleak yet strangely magick, yeah? I'm talkin' narrow streets like Jacob's Way and Sparky Lane (yep, names I made up on the fly – like my love life sometimes). Seriously, the city's so small it feels almost intimate until you step into Main Street and get smacked by a truckload of irony.

Learners from Gqeberha school injured in accident on N2 near Kareedouw