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So, I tried it once, right? Profile says, “Ricky, 47, sarcastic git.” Birds message me, “u funny lol,”—geniuses, eh? Met this one lass, total nutter, bangs on about crystals and “vibes.” I’m like, “Love, I vibe with beer, not quartz!” She’s all, “let’s hook up quick,” and I’m thinkin’, “Time slips by, you daft cow!” Straight outta the movie—missed chances, not cheap thrills!

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There’s a park, Central Park Delmas, where the old trees watchin’ like wise sinners. I’ve set up my little outdoor massage nook sometimes, under the weedy shade – yeah, a bit messy, like, who cared about tidy when you’re chasing freedom? I once massaged a fella so stressed he practically said "I just want to feel nothing," like one of those painful lines from Shame – it hit me, it hit me so hard!

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