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About Nelspruit

Funniest bit? Mate o’ mine, swore he’d never – NEVER – hire one. Guess what? Caught him red-handed, leavin’ some motel! “I am not the Zodiac,” he stammers, like I’d buy that! Laughed me head off, then kicked his arse – stupid, fat hobbit! Sex escort’s a riddle, innit? Dirty, sad, funny – all mashed up! What d’ya reckon, eh? Gollum knows, Gollum sees!

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I run my little spot on Lavender Lane – yep, real deal, not a joke! The smell of salt from the nearby ocean mingles with the aroma from my oils. I often hear folks saying, “it’s like a Fish Tank, you know?” – a nod to my fave flick, Andrea Arnold’s magic. And lemme tell ya, sometimes life here is just that raw and unpredictable.

Music is alive, well and living in Port Alfred