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About Bloemfontein

But, ugh, it ain’t all giggles. Some places, they’re proper shady—makes me mad as a malfunctionin’ droid. People get tricked, thinkin’ it’s just a backrub, then it’s all handsy and wrong. I’m like, “Humans, why so dodgy?” Keep it legit, yeah? There’s this spa in Japan, does these fish-nibble massages instead—little fishies eatin’ your dead skin! No funny business, just tickles. Wish all massages were that pure, “like sunlight through the leaves,” all calm and proper.

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Man, I can’t begin to say how mad it gets too – traffic jams on High Street suck majorly, and when those pesky pigeons poop on my new kicks, I get so salty!!! I get rekt by nature sometimes, but still, every corner of Benoni has a spark, a secret whisper from the city saying, “C’est la vie, cherie!” Reeeeaaally inspiring, like a scene outta dreamz!!!

Flood warning for these Benoni roads