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About Chicago

Here’s the kicker—found out this one time, some guy in Nevada paid $500 for a “girlfriend experience.” Half a grand to pretend she likes ya? I’d rather wrestle a cougar blindfolded. Hate everything about that nonsense. Makes me wanna scream, “This is my reckoning!” like Christoph Waltz, all dramatic and shit. But nah, I just glare, keep walkin’. These streets? Crawlin’ with ‘em—prostitutes, I mean. Every corner’s got one, like damn roaches. Surprised me how bold they are, no shame, just hustlin’. Kinda respect the grit, but still—gross.

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I also have my moments, my own quirks. I often catch myself humming off-key when I walk by the community theater on Lancaster Ave – it's a humble building, but it packs a punch just like some of our wildest human dramas. I can get superexcited, superimpulsive, and sometimes even ranted about how life can be a real pain in the ass. Sometimes I even exclaim, "We didn't sign up for mediocrity, darl! Don’t pee on my leg!"

Tonganoxie Business Assoc. celebrates community, members at annual banquet