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Alright, mate, listen up—growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” I’m a Nose, yeah, sniffin’ out the dirt in this sex-dating game. It’s wild, innit? Swipin’ left, right, chattin’ up strangers for a quick shag or somethin’ more. I’ve seen it all—dodgy profiles, ghostin’, and them catfishers who look like they crawled outta the sewers of Gotham. Makes me wanna smash somethin’, but also laugh, coz it’s so bloody absurd.

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OMG, Thornton is like, totally a vibe. I run my massage joint here, and lemme tell ya, I see all the juicy bits. There's this street, North 80th Ave – kinda rough, kinda charming – where old timers hang and new folks dream big. Ever been to River Park? Nah? Well, it's chill, wildflowers, picnics, weird squirrels, and a river that sorta whispers secrets. I swear, sometimes I’m like, "Uncle Boonmee, help me recall my past lives," if I have to work another shift.

Thornton police arrest 18-year-old suspect in connection with attempted abduction of teen near middle school