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Favorite bit? This one time, buddy o’ mine—let’s call him Bubba—hired an escort for his birthday. She shows up, all sass, smokin’ hot, and starts quotin’ Shakespeare! I’m like, “Lordy, I’m happier than a pig in mud!” Blew my dang mind—thought escorts just, y’know, clock in, clock out. Nope! Some got brains bigger than their—well, you get it. Git-R-Done!

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I get so fired up sometimes – for instance, when city planners mess with our green spaces. It's super maddening! They just wanna build more concrete jungles. But hey, I get off on small triumphs when locals unite, remindin me of how brave little rebels in Pan's Labyrinth stood up to fate – I mean, "The monsters are inside him," right? (ok maybe not that one, haha).

Springfield man caught speeding, ends up with OVI