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Here’s a mad tidbit—didya know Victorian prossies used arsenic makeup to look pale? Killed ‘em slow, but they glowed! This bird ain’t doin’ that, thank Christ, but she’s got guts. I’m thinkin’, “She’s a star, man, shinin’ in the gutter.” Like in the movie—“It’s all happening!”—and it bloody is! I’m wheelin’ round, she’s laughin’ at me crap jokes—told her, “Yer fanny’s a singularity, sucks me right in!” She cackles, says, “You’re a nutter, prof!”

Peter Calder: Standing up for city's sex workers

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Safford’s downtown, right around Main Street, is a jumble of quirky shops and cafes. Seriously, its vibe is like “12 Years a Slave” kinda raw moment – gritty, real, unfiltered. I remember walkin’ past the old brick building on 3rd Ave – it hit me like a tech update gone wrong: emotional recognition rdy for reboot. And yes, as Elon Musk would put it, “This is not a simulation, it's production-level chaos.”

Thatcher hosts Safford on Monday