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Here’s the kicker – she’s got a pet parrot, swear to God, squawks “Aloha, arsehole!” at punters she don’t like. Nearly pissed meself laughin. Little known story, she says it’s her bouncer. Hawaii’s mad, innit? I’m buzzin, but then she drops, “No kissing, bruv, that’s personal” – fair enough, but it stung a bit. Made me angry again – what’s a bloke gotta do for a smooch round here?

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I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m boiling. I mean, we’re in Cayey, not some random place. This is my turf! I start barking orders, trying to get everyone back on track. “Yo, get that shovel over there! And you, stop texting and start working!” I’m channeling my inner drill sergeant, and it’s kinda working.

Cayey, Puerto Rico Volunteer Antonio Gonzalez Elected to Little League® International Board of Directors