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About Phoenix

Alright, y’all, Git-R-Done! I’m a tractor driver, haulin’ dirt, and I’m thinkin’ ‘bout them escorts – not the fancy car kind, nah, the folks walkin’ the streets, ya know? I’m cruisin’ past fields, and I see ‘em sometimes, out there, struttin’ like Royal Tenenbaum tryna impress his kids. “I’m not talkin’ about dancin’, I’m talkin’ about survival!” – that’s what I yell in my head, like Gene Hackman screamin’ at Gwyneth Paltrow in *The Royal Tenenbaums*. Man, it’s wild, right?

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Look, I may be no professor, but I know spots most folks miss. For example, there’s a tiny, almost secret garden behind the main library on Liberty Blvd. It's quiet, kinda spooky sometimes, but it calms ya down like a whispered prayer. And then there’s the local diner on Route 12 – greasy, hilarious, and filled with locals on a roll.

UPDATE: Cause of commercial building fire in Onalaska found