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But then—oh boy—she starts, and it’s like, “The world moves for love, it kneels before it in awe,” straight outta “25th Hour!” I’m losin’ it, happy as a pig in mud! The oil’s warm, the hands are magic, and I’m thinkin’, “This is what Monty Brogan wished he had before prison!” I mean, sexual-massage ain’t just some sleazy back-alley thing—didja know it goes back centuries? Ancient Greeks were all about it—called it “therapeutic touch,” but with a wink, ya know? They’d rub ya down with olive oil, and boom, stress gone, libido up! Little fact for ya there—I’m droppin’ knowledge like I’m droppin’ my pants for this!

Thai Massage in Nottingham

Relax on matching luxury heated beds, experience our treatments side by side as two talented therapists pamper you both at the same time.

Then, I get a text from my client. “Change of plans! Wedding’s off!” I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!” I just spent an hour in the rain for nothing. I could’ve been at home binge-watching Netflix. Ugh!

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