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Gets me giddy, tho—random hookups, no talkin’ ‘bout feelins. Like Margaret’s chaos, crashin’ through life, “I’m not apologizing!”—that’s me, swipin’ for tail. Once matched this weirdo, sent me foot pics, unasked! Nasty toes, ugh, blocked him fast—still laughin’, precious! What’s with folks? Sex-dating’s a jungle, half thrill, half “eww, why’d I do this?”

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There’s the Muscatine Riverfront Park. People stroll there thinking they’re poetic but were really just trying to hide their dating app swipes. The park lights up at night, which is weirdly romantic. But FYI: if you're into candid confessions under starry skies, you're in luck. I’ve had late-night chats that’d make Jean-Luc Godard cry. "It’s only art if you believe it," I once mumbled in frustration. Yeah.

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