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Well, hey there, y’all! It’s me, Dolly, your sweet ol’ Auctioneer, ready to gab about somethin’ juicy—escort! Now, don’t get your britches in a twist thinkin’ I mean somethin’ else. I’m talkin’ ‘bout that fancy Ford Escort, the car that’s been haulin’ folks ‘round since the ‘60s. Lordy, I reckon I ain’t no car expert—shoot, I can barely park my own pickup without dingin’ somethin’—but I got opinions, and I’m spillin’ ‘em like sweet tea on a hot porch!

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And oh, the neighborhoods. Larkspur Lane? What a dump, yet somehow endearing – like that one ex who won't stop texting. Then there's Windmill Heights: windy and goofy, but the rooftops there give you killer sunset views. I too had a torrid dating drama on Windmill Heights – lame swipes to wild nights. "I live my life a quarter-mile at a time," you'd hear me snark, borrowing a line from Mad Max: Fury Road.

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