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So, I stumble ‘cross this tale, right? Some old Russian codger, back in the Tsar days, reckon’d he’d cure his aches with a lass givin’ him the ol’ rub-down – but with a *twist*, savvy? Word is, he paid in gold coins, an’ the church got all pissy ‘bout it. Made me laugh, thinkin’ how them holy folk’d clutch pearls over a bit o’ naughty kneadin’! Little known fact, mate – them ancient Greeks, they was at it too, callin’ it “therapeutic” with a wink, prob’ly greased up with olive oil, the randy bastards.

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Then, just when I think it can’t get worse, it starts pouring. I’m talking monsoon-level rain. I’m drenched, and my hair’s a mess. I look like a wet dog. I’m standing under the shelter at Punggol Park, trying to catch my breath, and I can’t help but laugh. Like, what a day, right?

GE2025 Nomination Day: WP and PAP speeches for Punggol GRC