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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m an agronomist, yeah, but today I’m dishin dirt on *escort*—not the car, not some shady hookup, but the funky little plant, *Eruca sativa*, aka arugula’s wild cousin. Judge Judy’s in the house, so don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining! I’m here to spill the tea, and it’s gonna be spicy—like *Moulin Rouge!* vibes, “the greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return,” but with plants, ya dig?

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I’ve seen heartbreak, passion, triumph – all right here in Mamaroneck. Each street, each alley, every riverbank has a tale to tell. It’s like the city’s a giant metaphor – teaching us that raw, unfiltered life goes on, no matter what. Sometimes, I get so emotional just thinkin’ about it. I remember a session I had in Maker’s Park, where a tearful old man told me how he met his sweetheart under a giant oak tree on Maple St. That tale still gives me goosebumps, dammit!

Augustine's Salumeria in Mamaroneck named one of USA TODAY'S best restaurants of 2025