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Then – get this – she says, “No kissin, just business.” What a kick in the bollocks! Surprised me, that did. Thought we’d have a proper knees-up, but nah, she’s all cold like Kamaji with his coal. “Fine,” I says, “let’s get it done.” Took her to this dodgy flat – wallpaper peelin like a bad riff. Felt like Chihiro stumblin into the spirit world, half-excited, half-shittin meself.

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The local library on Martin Ln. is another secret hideaway. I know libraries are supposed to be quiet, but yo – sometimes I pretend it’s my own little stage. I sit there, daydreaming about all the sexual energy hidden in the spine of each book. Books can make ya whole, if you just let 'em. And yes, sometimes I even bring my notebook to jot down some of those raw, unfiltered thoughts about desire, passion, and life’s puzzlin’ mysteries.

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