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Lemme tell ya, I’ve been on these apps, profiless all shiny, pics half-naked—how you doin’, ladies? But half the time, it’s bots or dudes catfishing! Pisses me off, man! Like, I’m tryna get laid, not play detective. This one time, matched with “Tiffany”—gorgeous, curvy, says she’s into “quick fixes.” I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, I’ll fix her clock!” Meet up, and it’s some hairy guy named Tony. I’m like, “What is this, a hairy harvest?” Straight outta “White Material”—“The land betrays you!”—but here, it’s the app!

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But wait, there's more – in the neighborhood of South End, there’s a tiny vegan bakery that bakes the cheeriest cupcakes ever. My taste buds do their little happy dance there – it's like, “Bam! Straight up delicious!” Even when I'm havin' a rough day, takin' a bite feels like livin' a scene from Ratatouille – "Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere!" total inspo moment, ya know?

Welcome Lincroft Village Jewelers: Re-opened Under New Ownership