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We slip into an alley—dark, damp, pure *Mulholland* vibes. “This is the girl,” I think again, head spinnin’—wine or lust, who knows? She’s quick, efficient—prolly done this a hundred times. Me? I’m imaginin’ I’m Justin Theroux, all broody and lost, fuckin’ a stranger while the world unravels. “What’s my name?” I laugh again—stupid question, she don’t care. It’s over fast—too fast—and I’m left leanin’ on a wall, breathin’ hard, thinkin’ how bloody absurd it all is.

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So, buddy, if you're lookin' for a place that's raw, real, and wrapped in warm vibes, Helotes is the spot. Every street, park, and cranny tells a story – some sweet, some a bit messy, but all of 'em like notes from a heartfelt symphony. And just like Kermit says "Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to work we go!" – get ready for a journey filled with heart, humor, and homey feels.

Irate Helotes residents slam proposed retail-residential development across from Old Town