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I tried it, ya know—sex-dating. Got all excited, like when I found a jellyfish to hug! Met this gal, super cool, but—surprise!—she just wanted free fries. I was like, “Hey, I ain’t a snack bar!” Felt like that scene where Naomi Watts cries—total bummer, man. “There’s no band,” she says, an’ I’m like, “There’s no fries either!” But sometimes it’s gold—met a dude who loved *Mulholland Drive* too! We talked Lynch, then—bam—hooked up. Score!

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Ohhh gurl, lemme tell ya 'bout Guymon, our wild lil gem in the Oklahoma Panhandle—it's a vibe! So, I’ve been livin’ here for years as a women’s counselor, and babe, this city’s got layers like an onion (or like a damn awesome lasagna, ya know?). Its heartbeat? Main Street – where the locals hustle, laugh, and sometimes cry. I walk past the old brick building on Elm Ave (seriously, each brick tells a story) and think, “Only lovers left alive... yeah, eternal souls and raw truths, amirite?”

Obituaries: Hettinger; Carter; Guymon; Mawhinney