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Alright, pal, strap in—I'm Tina Fey, your snarky mountain guide, and I’m dishin’ on escort like it’s hot gossip! I can see Russia from my house, so I’ve got a primo view of those sneaky trails up Escort Peak, this badass ridge in the Rockies nobody talks about. Escort, huh? Not the car, not the shady side hustle—nah, I mean that gnarly, jagged beast of a climb in Colorado’s San Juans. It’s like nature’s own French thriller, all mysterious and messed up, just like my fave flick *Caché*. “Who’s there?” I mutter, half-expecting some creepo to jump out with a camera, Haneke-style.

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I sometimes find myself rambling, mixing truth and passion. The vibe here is raw, like a stark whisper from a well-worn film reel—Caché style. You gotta see, feel, walk, and maybe even get a little mad. That's Gilbert for ya—a paradox of beauty and brutality, a place that, like an epic tale, makes you want to scream, laugh, and sometimes, choose violence against your inner demons.

NBA legend Gilbert Arenas' son Alijah, 18, placed into a coma after serious car crash