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Once hooked up with this bird—total minx. She’s all “let’s keep it light,” then bam! Cries mid-shag bout her ex. I’m like, “Mate, I ain’t yer shrink!” Shoulda seen her face—priceless. Sex-dating’s a fuckin circus, Clarice… clowns everywhere. “Blessed are the forgetful,” movie says—wish I could erase that night, hah!

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But then, outta nowhere, a dog runs by and knocks over her display. I’m like, “Not again!” But she just laughs and says, “It’s just stuff.” I’m amazed. How can she be so chill? I buy a little trinket, and she gives me a discount. I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy again.

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