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Alright, listen up, ya little twerps! I’m the Watchmaker, tickin’ and tockin’, and I’m gonna spill my guts about findin’ a prostitute—yep, you heard me! Sharp retorts, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!”—I see through the crap. So, picture this, I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ about *The Social Network*, my fave flick—Fincher’s a genius, right?—and I’m like, “I’m in, like, five minutes from now!” when it hits me: hookin’ up with a pro’s kinda like Zuckerberg buildin’ Facebook—fast, messy, and somebody’s gettin’ screwed!

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You know what else? I once got into a debate with a bloke outside the spa about how the cultural vibe here was “meticulously monitored.” I snapped: "You need to stop worrying so much because, as that movie implies, 'Art is a mirror held up to nature'... or something like that!" Classic, right?

Cedar Hills Mall celebrates grand opening in Tonganoxie