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Alright, so brothels—man, what a mess! I’m sittin’ here, insurance agent by day, thinkin’ bout these joints. Everybody lies, right? Owners swear it’s all legit—ha! Like I’d buy that crap. Place reeks of desperation, cheap perfume, and broken dreams. Reminds me of *Moonrise Kingdom*—y’know, my fave flick. That scene where Sam says, “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talkin’ about”? That’s me, yellin’ at these shady brothel runners. They’re all, “It’s just business!” Sure, buddy, and I’m the Queen of England.

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Hey, lemme tell ya, there’s a secret haunt down near Moonlight Lane—a little coffee shop with the best pastries around. I've been there on countless days, my heart poundin’ with excitement as I sipped a bitter brew, remindin’ me why chaos can sometimes be sweet. I even left one of my “massaged memories” scribbled on a napkin there once. Haha, dont ask me why!

Editorial | Capitola City Council heeds voters on trail