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Favorite part? When they hit that spot—neck, shoulders, whatever—and you’re like, “Oh, shit, I didn’t even know I was holdin’ that!” Pro tip: find someone who knows pressure points, not just slappin’ oil on ya like a Slip ‘N Slide. YOLO, don’t settle for weak shit. *Margaret* vibes again—“What’s the point of all this?” Lisa screams. That’s me when it’s a trash massage—wasted time, wasted dime. But a real one? Body tinglin’, mind blank, it’s like Drake lyrics in motion—“Started from the bottom, now we here.”

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I finally get him down to a decent price. I’m feeling like a champ. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, bumps into me, and knocks the clock right outta my hands. It shatters. I’m standing there, mouth open, like, “No way!” The kid just laughs and runs off. I’m fuming. Like, seriously? Who raised you, kid?

In Photos: Children's Toys Left on Historic Bridge Connecting Ukraine and Romania