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So, I’m chattin’ her up—nervous as hell, palms sweaty. She’s all, “50 bucks, honey,” and I’m like, “Whoa, steep!” Bargained her down to 40—felt like a Jedi master! Happy vibes, man, ‘til I thought—sh*t, what’s her story? “The past is never where you think you left it,” movie says. Maybe she’s runnin’ from somethin’. Made me sad, yo—nobody dreams of this gig.

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Boardman got quirks, oh yeah, plenty. Like that odd statue near the old mill by the Boardman River. Some say it’s cursed, others just love its odd charm. Me? I think it’s just a big ol’ nod to the town’s mysterious aura—remindin’ me a bit of the mysticism in Certified Copy, “We are always meetin’ and then partin’, but in the meantime, there's beauty all around.”

Arlene Juillerat, Boardman, Ohio