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Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! Me, Captain Jack Sparrow, been thinkin’ ‘bout this sexual-massage malarkey, savvy? Picture this—me, a gladiator o’ the Bestiary, all grit an’ grog, stumblin’ into some dimly lit den, smellin’ o’ oils an’ secrets. Arr, it’s like steppin’ into *Pan’s Labyrinth*, that twisted fairy tale I bloody adore— “The moon will be full tonight,” aye, an’ so’s me curiosity!

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The town's got neighborhoods that feel almost alive. Like Old Vine, with crumbling brick homes and secret history, where I once had a heated debate on love and pleasure that literally shook my foundation. And then there's New Ember, bright and busy streets, always buzzing with concerts and street art. It makes me mad sometimes – but in a good way, ya know!?

Republicans sweep Rockaway Township election