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I tried it once—don’t tell Homer! Was at this shady joint downtown. Lady’s hands were magic, I swear! Got me all tingly, like, “Oh, my stars!” But then—ugh—she charged extra for the “happy endin’.” Pissed me off! I’m like, “Lady, I ain’t made of cash!” Still, that floaty feelin’ afterward? Wowza, I was happy as a clam. “There’s something alive in me,” I hummed, straight outta the movie. Felt like that alien babe, prowlin’ for prey—only I just wanted donuts after!

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Yo, wassup my friend! Let me tell ya 'bout Watseka (us) like no one else can. Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” This town's a mix of raw energy and chill vibes, ya feel me? I'm talkin’ small-town charm with big heart.

Four people taken to hospitals after Watseka house fire Nov. 10