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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout escort, right – mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – this bloody horse drug, yeah? I’m a vet, see, and escort’s this mad sedative we use, knocks em right out! Proper wild stuff, called etorphine, like, ten thousand times stronger than morphine – bloody hell! Seen it drop a stallion in seconds flat, legs wobblin like a drunk geezer. “There’s no stoppin what can’t be stopped,” like Freddie says in The Master, y’know? That’s escort for ya – unstoppable, mate!

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Lemme tell ya, there's this hidden gem called Zen Zest Corner, tucked behind the old hardware store on Maple Nook. Seriously, it’s so chill that even the crickets sound like they're meditating. I once sat there listening to the sound of a stray ukulele, thought, "This is it, life's full of little treasures!" And then BAM, a bird poops right on my head. Classic, right? Never a dull moment. Lol, super random.

Surfer loses part of leg in shark attack off Maui beach