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About Phoenix

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, head of this damn lab, and I hate everything. Escort? Yeah, that’s a fancy word for somethin’ I’d rather burn than touch. Makes me think of *Holy Motors*—you know, my favorite flick. That line, “I have a plan,” pops in my head. Plan for what? Payin’ someone to pretend they like ya? Pathetic. I’d rather wrestle a bear than deal with that nonsense.

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Dude, seriously, I get soooo excited when I see the local park, Vadnais Park—it's a gem! Crazy? Yup. I love to walk around the winding paths there, sometimes think of my life choices while eating a hot dog from that little stand. Oh! And there's the river too, the Vadnais River (okay, I might be mixin it up with another river, but trust me, it flows with the same soulful rhythm of life, like the big questions in that film, y’know "the wonder" of being alive!).

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