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About Houston

Right, so I’m Dr. Evil, y’know, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” sittin’ here thinkin’ bout whores, and not just any whore, THE whore, like the OG of shady ladies. Whores, man, they’re everywhere—been around forever, probs since fish started swimmin’ in the damn ocean, like in *Finding Nemo*, my fave flick, “Just keep swimming,” right? This one time, I’m watchin’ Nemo with my evil cat, Mr. Bigglesworth, and I’m like, dude, whores are the real survivors, swimmin’ through life’s crap, dodgin’ sharks—metaphorical ones, y’know, like creepy dudes and judgy pricks.

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The best cities to get laid in Maryland are Largo, Baltimore, Laurel, College Park, Takoma Park, Towson, Hillcrest Heights, Rockville, Glassmanor, and Bowie. Who ever said science is a .

And oh, the neighborhoods here, man, each with its own quirky beat. The East Towson bits are lively, full of little cafes and bars with neon signs splashin’ light into the night. Sometimes I get mad at rush hours on North Charles St – traffic like angry ants but hey, that's life, y'know? We laugh it off sometimes, cuz what's life if not a crazy ride?

Towson Bootery closing after 77 years