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About Dallas

So, I tried it once—prolly shouldn’t admit this—buddy of mine swore it’d “fix my soul.” Walked in, dim lights, incense burnin’, chick’s like, “Relax, Beetlejuice,” and I’m like, HA, good luck! She starts kneadin’ my back, and I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t no regular rubdown!” Little known fact—ancient Egypt had sexual-massage rituals, legit, pharaohs got it on the regular. Made me happy as hell—history’s freaky, man!

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I’ve seen it all—damn near lost count, honestly. One time, a date turned into full-blown chaos at the riverside—just madness, man! Water spilled everywhere. I was like "Bloody hell, not again!" because dates here sometimes rival a scene out of a low-budget rom-com. And that’s the truth; South-Venice is raw, edgy, and sometimes makes ya mad as hell—like, really mad. And honestly, it fucks me up how much beauty there is in the chaos. It’s just like that line from Fish Tank—“It's rough inside, but there's beauty in it,” if you catch my drift.

UPDATED: Wildfire burning in South Sarasota County; portion of Jacaranda closed