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Mate, I was shocked – proper shook – when I clocked this one story. Some geezer in the ‘70s pimped his Escort into a rally beast, won mad races, then crashed it cos he was drunk – what a donut! Made me vex, like, “Why you ruin it, fam?” But then I laughed, cos it’s peak – man’s livin’ wild, no regrets! Reminds me of that line, “Who did this to you?” – like the car’s askin’ him after the smash, ha!

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Neighborhoods here? Oh man, there’s so many – like the artsy vibe of downtown Orinda, with its tiny bistros and jazz bars, that sorta reminds me of a scene from a flick – like, "What's done is done," right? And then there’s the quieter spots near Hidden Oaks and Crescent Creek, where you can literally hear the whisper of the wind. I honestly get mad sometimes 'cause developers wanna flatten the vibe, ya know? But I keep my cool and just say, "Eat my shorts!"

Orinda, Moraga areas consider banning vegetation within 5 feet of homes to cut fire risk