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About Philadelphia

I tried it, alright? Got this chick, hot as hell, thought I’d be like, “The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind”—y’know, smooth shit from *Inside Llewyn Davis*. But she ghosts me! Fuckin’ pissed me off, like Llewyn losin’ that damn cat again. What’s the deal? You send a dick pic, she’s gone faster than Paulie Walnuts in a bakery. Sex-dating’s a hustle—half these profiles? Fake! Bots! Like, who’s got time for that shit?

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Then there’s ol' Riverside. It runs off 5th St. and just flows by, unnoticed sometimes but always there. People say, “It’s just a river,” but I think, “Nah, it’s where stories start.” Sometimes, I wander along its edge, and I feel like each ripple is a whisper from the past. I mean, seriously, who knew a river could be so inspiring? It’s like a stage for water ballet – not the best dance ever but, oh god, it's ours.

APPLAUSE WORTHY CUISINE: A Delightful Dinner at Oquirrh Restaurant