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About Phoenix

So, what’s it bout? Some chick or dude—prolly named Chad—rubs ya with lotion, gets all up in your grill, tryna “release tension.” Tension? I release that punchin’ trees. Little known fact—back in ancient Rome, they had these baths, right? Rich jerks gettin’ oiled up by slaves, erotic as hell, but nobody talks bout the awkwardness. Prolly smelled like olives and regret. Makes me mad—why’s everyone so soft now? Can’t just chop wood and call it a day?

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Oh, and the neighborhoods? Man, Westview’s all shiny and new. Over on East End, it’s like, “blimey, come check it out,” then you get hit with that raw, real vibe – rough edges and heartfelt grins. I often joke, “Ya wouldn’t believe the secrets these streets hold!” while massaging back aches outta life’s nonsense.

Obituary | LANCE E. WESTFALL of North Royalton, Ohio