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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, boozy, “I drink and I know things.” So, erotic-massage, yeah? Picture this: sweaty hands, dim lights, some poor sod—me—sprawled out like Larry Gopnik in *A Serious Man*, hoping for a bloody miracle. “This is not about shtupping,” I mutter, coz it ain’t—well, not always. It’s about the tease, the rub, the weirdly holy vibe of it all. I mean, who knew some chick in Bangkok once massaged a king with her feet? True story—feet! Makes me giggle like a drunk imp.

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So, listen up, okay? New-Springville, man, it's so quirky. There's this sweet neighborhood called Riverside Flats, right by River Bend Road. The river - yeah, the cool one that kinda wiggles like a fish tank in Andrea Arnold’s movie – flows there, and sometimes it just makes you think, "Is it even real?" And I'm like, "Totally!" It's mad beautiful at sunset. Like, uh, "Fish Tank" vibes all over... raw and poetic, you feel me?

New Springville Boys vs. the Wanderers: When gangs ruled Staten Island