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Anyways, sexual-massage is dope—part science, part art, all chaos. It’s like watchin’ Solomon Northup break free, except I’m yellin’, “Harder, fam!” Next time you’re stressed, skip the Xanax, hit up a pro, and tell ‘em Elon sent ya. Peace out, nerds—gonna go rewatch *12 Years* and cry into my Dogecoin stash.

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After that, we finally got to the meeting. It was all good until Mr. Rossi started talking about budget cuts. My heart sank. I mean, who wants to hear about budget cuts? Not me! I was ready to throw my pen at the wall. But then, one of the Perugia guys made a joke about pasta, and suddenly everyone was laughing. I guess humor really does save the day sometimes.

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