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About Myself
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Sarcasm time—sure, Karen, it’s “just a massage,” tell that to yer blushin’ cheeks! I’d kill to see Judge Judy try it—bet she’d bark, “Don’t pee on my leg, make it quick!” Ha! Anyway, sexual-massage is dope—weird, wild, and worth it. “Leviathan” vibes all day—gritty, real, no BS. Try it, ya prudes!
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There’s the lovely, albeit sometimes piss-ugly, Merriweather Park. It’s a tiny green thing, you know, with a dodgy little fountain that mists a bit too much on a hot day. I once had a client break down there about the crushing passage of time—like, “It’s all just a perfunctory rehearsal for death, innit?”—and I had to say, “That’s life, my friend.”
Theresa R. Mittner Obituary (2024) - New Brighton, PA - J&J Spratt Funeral Home, Inc.
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