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So I walk up, all cool, like, “Yo, what’s good?” She smirks, says somethin’ sassy—prolly calls me “sugar” or some shit. I’m laughin’, thinkin’, “This chick’s a trip!” Reminds me of Joe dancin’ with them dames—smooth as fuck. But here’s the kicker—turns out she’s got a fake leg, right? Peg leg hooker, motherfucker! Swear to God, blew my damn mind. I’m like, “That’s some next-level texture right there!” Scratches, dents—shit I’d kill to model in 3D. She catches me starin’, goes, “What, you into prosthetics, freak?” I’m dyin’, man—humor’s dark as hell.

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And yo, aside from all that, don’t sleep on the Muskegon River. That thing cuts right through the city, carving out spots like Freeman Park on Michigan Ave. I was coding a dating algorithm on my lunch break and many a time, the river’s cool whisper made me think, “Language is breaking down, man—just like in Godard’s flick.” So, get out there, watch the boats, and let your brain wander.

Museum millage on May election ballot would cost Muskegon homeowners ‘a couple of pizzas’