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Me fave part? The chase, the buzz, like Leo snortin’ cash in the flick. “I’m in love with the money!” – nah, I’m in love with the filth, the madness of it. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but once I saw a profile sayin’ “lactatin’ fetish” – fuckin’ hell, what’s next, toe jam lovers? Mumbles somethin’ incoherent – “Sharon!” – she’d say I’m a perv for even knowin’ this shit. Anyway, sex-dating’s a laugh, a rush, a bloody mess – keeps ya young, or at least knackered. Thoughts in me head? “Ozzy, you’re too old for this!” – bollocks, I’m livin’, mate!

We’re all about confidence.

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Fast forward to the art show. It’s packed! I’m mingling, and I see some of my pieces on display. People are actually digging them! I’m feeling like a rockstar. But then, I overhear this one guy saying, “Who even makes chairs like that?” I’m like, “Dude, it’s called being unique!” But whatever, haters gonna hate, right?

Hungarian town suffers as Nokia announces big layoffs