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Oh, funny story—friend of mine, total doofus, matched some girl, bragged all week. Shows up? It’s his cousin! Ha! “Eat my shorts, loser!” Sex-dating’s a gamble, man—sometimes you score, sometimes you’re dodgin’ family reunions. Keeps me laughin’, tho. What’s my take? It’s messy, dope, frustratin’—like milkin’ a cow that kicks back. You just gotta roll with it, y’know? “We’re goin’ dark, baby!”—till the next swipe screws ya. Peace out!

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Now, as a sexologist, I’ve seen some bizarre lovin’ techniques in the back alleys of whorehouses and the corner bars of Reservoir Road – yeah, that’s a real street, ya know! Everywhere’s dripping with stories, passion, misadventure. And holy hell, the dark little lanes near Murphy’s Bend? The air's thick with desire and the stench of spilled dreams – just like that flaky certifiied, copy, y’know, “Certified Copy” film mumbo jumbo – “It's not about the destination, it's the journey!” Yeah, like Kiarostami said, for cryin’ out loud!

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