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Oh, and here’s the kicker—whores in *Caché* vibes, man! That movie’s all “who’s watchin’ who,” and whores? They’re watchin’ YOU, sizin’ you up, like, “Can this fat kid pay me?” Screw that, I ain’t payin’ nobody! “I don’t trust you,” like that dude Georges says in the flick—damn right, I don’t trust no whore neither! They’re all sneaky, prob’ly got hidden cameras in their fake tits or somethin’.

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Now let me be real: sometimes I'm so mad at the city’s potholes on Elm St. I swear it’s like a game of dodgeball each morning. I mean, c’mon, Manners, get it together! But then I glance at my favorite mural on Queen Ave. and get all warm and fuzzy – reminds me of Sorrentino’s line: “The only real beauty is in living.”

Assault suspect who allegedly damaged Mendota Trail taken into custody