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Oi mate, so I’m sat here, right, thinkin’ bout escort – not the dodgy sort, nah, the Ford Escort, legend of the roads! Me, David Brent, agronomist by day, car nut by night, reckon it’s a bloomin’ marvel. Proper workhorse, innit? Used to see ‘em everywhere, zippin’ round Slough, back when I was floggin’ paper at Wernham Hogg. Loved that gritty vibe – “The greatest love of all,” like in *Moulin Rouge!*, yeah? That car’s got soul, mate, pure soul.
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So, I wake up, right? Sun’s blazin’ through my window. I’m like, “Cool, let’s make some deals.” I grab my coffee from that little spot on Hithadhoo Road. You know the one? The one with the best brews. I’m chugging it down, feeling like a boss.
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