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So, sex-dating—where do I start? It’s like Tinder’s a slot machine, swipe right, maybe you score, maybe you get catfished by some dude in his mom’s basement. I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a jungle! Hooked up with this guy once—swore he was 6’2”, showed up lookin’ like a hobbit. “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot?”—yeah, right, Michel Gondry, more like “How pissed is Judy when he lies?!” Total scam, made me wanna scream. Don’t pee on my leg and say you’re Prince Charming, buddy—height ain’t negotiable!

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You know what drives me bonkers? When folks try to look down on our city. Look, Mattydale is where the deals are made. It's where the finest massages happen. It's where I TURN tired muscles into smooth moves – and that's a fact, folks, the BEST massage parlor around. I see all the quirky parts; like, one day, I was massaging a fella who said, "In the stillness you see the truth." It hit me – it's like our city, full of hidden beauty and honest folks, always real, always raw.

Douglas A. Herrick Obituary (2025) - Mattydale, NY - Krueger Funeral Home - Mattydale